Thursday, September 2, 2010
Cherish, teen mother and Outsider Girl, tries to find some time for herself and discovers it’s “not about me”. Cherish also appeared in OGW April 1, 2010 and May 20.
Cherish: Seven am, before the boy is awake. He got me up at four, then he went back to sleep. I tossed and turned, got up, made the coffee for my mother and me, sat down at my computer.
Free time. Writing time.
Only there’s an email from the Disney store about a sale on hoodies, and next thing I know I’m browsing their site for about an hour, and I’ve put like sixty dollars on my PayPal account and I’ve bought the boy stuff like a white tee shirt with Jack from Nightmare Before Christmas on it which I figure he can get away with wearing to school ‘cause the uniform is a white shirt.
I want him to stand out. I want him noticed.
That’s how it is now – screw me getting noticed, nobody ever noticed me for the good things anyway. And now I don’t have to worry about me anymore, it’s all about him.
I haven’t written one word. I have like six pages of a children’s book, one I’m writing for him, my sweet little boy.
When will it be for me again?
Was it ever?
But guess what -- I have a beautiful boy going into kindergarten this year, so who the fuck am I to complain?
Only, I can’t help it. I want a boyfriend, friends, a new hoodie for me, a full night sleep going to bed before one and up after nine and then a day to write and draw like I used to but—
He’s awake now, tugging on me leg, smiling in my face. Then he sneezes, and the dripping boogers make him cry so I have to go now, have to clean his face. Story over.
For today, it’s not about me—
It’s Not About Me.