Thursday, March 3, 2011


Ella read a New York Times article about posting videos of cutting yourself on Youtube.  Right Now, she is a star...
Ella first appeared in OGW 2/3/2011.

Ella:  My mother yells up the stairs, “Ella, you have to get dressed Right Now.”
She says, “Ella, the bus is coming Right Now.”
“I’m busy, Right Now.D” 
Only I don’t say that part.
Using a bent paperclip, digging in, dragging it up and down my arm.  Making a cross.
Right Now I’m making a short film.
I do this every day.  Right Now, I’m done cutting, and I check my Hits and it’s around ten thousand and that’s just since three weeks ago and I’m a star.
Right Now I’m a star, Ma.
My mother says, “I’m not driving you if you miss the bus, you’ll have to walk!”
I haven’t missed the bus.  I have time to pull a long, black sleeve down over my bloody arm, turn off the computer – password protected – tie on a choker of a fake cameo in a gothy-y cross on a ribbon around my neck.
“I’m coming!  Right Now!” I yell down the stairs, my voice running ahead of me.
I smile to myself.  What she doesn’t know will hurt her.
Only, then she hugs me, says, “I hope the rest of your day is better than the beginning,” and she means it.
Great.  Just Great. 

Right Now, I feel like shit. 
My arm stings.

oh boy
i am a star.
there’s the bus.

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