Thursday, February 17, 2011
Allison has both weight and self-esteem issues. She takes most of her self-image from what others think of her, especially boys. Here, she begins a new diet, one of her many attempts at changing herself to meet others’ expectations. Allison first appeared in OGW 4/8/10, and again on 10/28/10.
Allison: I’m sitting all the way back at a table by the courtyard window, nowhere near through-traffic, and yet a bag of Fritos hits me in the head.
“Sorry,” says Soulsucking Loser Number Two Hundred and Twelve – they’re all the same, the boys in my class.
“No problem,” I say, putting the bag on the lunchtable and sliding it towards him.
Before the Loser gets to it, my fist smashes down, pulverizing the Fritos. “Sorry,” I say.
“Freak,” he says.
Yeah, whatever. Go home and cry to your momma.
Now where was I?
Oh yeah, Diet, Day One: I’m starting on a diet of Goldfish – the cheddar cheese flavored kind, not the swimmy kind. First, I bite off the tail, carefully so the rest of the fish stays together. If the fish breaks, I punish myself by throwing that one away.
After the tail is chewed five times and has basically just dissolved – I wouldn’t consider it swallowing, more like I absorb the taste of cracker… after that, I put the fish body in my mouth, and use my tongue to position the body upright between my top and bottom teeth, and then I split the body into two pieces with a gentle bite. I chew on these five chomps too, and then I swallow three times. Running my tongue over my teeth, I make sure they’re entirely clean of goldfish, and then I reach into my ziplocked baggie and get another one.And that’s how I do it. That’s how I get through lunch. Day One: Twenty-two goldfish.