Allison

Allison has both weight and self-esteem issues.  She takes most of her self-image from what others think of her, especially boys.  Here, she begins a new diet, one of her many attempts at changing herself to meet others’ expectations.  Allison first appeared in OGW 4/8/10, and again on 10/28/10.

Allison:  I’m sitting all the way back at a table by the courtyard window, nowhere near through-traffic, and yet a bag of Fritos hits me in the head.

     “Sorry,” says Soulsucking Loser Number Two Hundred and Twelve – they’re all the same, the boys in my class.

     “No problem,” I say, putting the bag on the lunchtable and sliding it towards him. 

     Before the Loser gets to it, my fist smashes down, pulverizing the Fritos.  “Sorry,” I say.

     “Freak,” he says.

     Yeah, whatever.  Go home and cry to your momma.

     Now where was I?

Oh yeah, Diet, Day One:  I’m starting on a diet of Goldfish – the cheddar cheese flavored kind, not the swimmy kind.  First, I bite off the tail, carefully so the rest of the fish stays together.  If the fish breaks, I punish myself by throwing that one away. 

     After the tail is chewed five times and has basically just dissolved – I wouldn’t consider it swallowing, more like I absorb the taste of cracker… after that, I put the fish body in my mouth, and use my tongue to position the body upright between my top and bottom teeth, and then I split the body into two pieces with a gentle bite.  I chew on these five chomps too, and then I swallow three times.  Running my tongue over my teeth, I make sure they’re entirely clean of goldfish, and then I reach into my ziplocked baggie and get another one.

     And that’s how I do it.  That’s how I get through lunch.  Day One:  Twenty-two goldfish.